Dances with Wolves

Dances with Wolves
Orion
November 21, 1990
Historical Drama
DVD
D

Although the first quarter hour is somewhat bloody and at times bloody boring, I did bump this up from a D- because I got a few laughs out of how stupid the Costner character is.  (I will never forget the Pauline Kael review where she said he had "feathers in his hair, feathers in his head," which my then-husband and I would sing to the tune of "The Rain, the Park, and Other Things" by the Cowsills.)

Costner also directed, and Michael Blake adapted his own novel.

The Damned United

The Damned United
BBC Films
27 March 2009
Sports Drama, Historical Drama
DVD
C

A nice lead performance by Sheen and a pretty good script almost got me past the fact that the movie is about British football.  This is based on David Peace's novel, The Damned Utd, and directed by Tom Hooper.

The Damned Don't Cry

The Damned Don't Cry
Warner Bros.
May 13, 1950
Crime Drama
DVD
C

Crawford plays a rich woman with a bunch of secrets, some of which are revealed in flashbacks in the first quarter hour.  Joan also apparently collaborated on the screenplay, which was based on the Jerome Weidman story "Case History."  Vincent Sherman directed.

Damn Yankees

Damn Yankees
Warner Bros.
September 26, 1958
Musical, Fantasy, Sports Comedy
DVD
C

I actually tried to watch this movie a couple years ago, after hearing about it for decades, but it didn't capture my interest.  I did decide to give it a quarter-hour this time, to at least see how uninterested I was.  So, yeah, a C, "almost interested."

George Abbott, who adapted the play he co-wrote with Douglass Wallop, who wrote the book this is based on, co-directed with Stanley Donen.  And, yes, 35-year-old Jean Stapleton already seems middle-aged a dozen years before All in the Family.

Dames

Dames
Warner Bros.
September 1, 1934
Musical, Comedy
DVD
C-

I was underwhelmed by the first quarter hour, which has mostly unfunny comedy, a song about falling in love with a thirteenth cousin before her conception, and no dancing.  Still, I've obviously seen worse.  Ray Enright and Busby Berkeley co-directed.

Daisy Miller

Daisy Miller
Paramount
May 22, 1974
Historical Drama, Historical Comedy
DVD
B-

I can't remember if I've read the Henry James novella.  (I definitely have read The Bostonians.)  There's something slight and insubstantial about these characters, who keep at arm's length from each other and the viewer.  Yet I did enjoy the movie, especially the way that both Daisy (Sheperd) and her mother (Leachman) chatter away, revealing more than they know.  (A bit like Jane Austen's Miss Bates actually.)  The scenery and sets, as well as costumes are gorgeous, but the pacing is a bit slow, especially for an adaptation of a shortish story.  Note that Bogdanovich's love affair with Shepherd somehow worked against the success of the movie at the time (Cary Grant blamed jealous resentment), but now it just comes through in the way he directs Cybill to be charming and lovable.

Daddy Day Care

Daddy Day Care
Columbia
May 9, 2003
Comedy
DVD
D+

Unfunny and stereotypical (with some cliches even dragged in just for nonexistent laughs, like the "Gypsies").  Still, bumped up a notch or two for the interesting cast, although I didn't get to see everyone.  Steve Carr (mis)directed.

D2: The Mighty Ducks

D2: The Mighty Ducks
Disney
March 25, 1994
Children's, Sports Comedy
DVD
C-

Sequel to a movie I've never seen or wanted to see.  I must note that the "rinky-dink" town where it's set (pun presumably intended) includes a park to rival Central Park and a mall with a roller coaster!  (Or maybe that part is set in Minneapolis.)  Sam Weisman directed.

Cyborg

Cyborg
The Cannon Group
April 7, 1989
Sci-Fi, Action
DVD
D

Although this was very violent, I was mildly interested in the world-building, so I won't go lower on the grade.  Albert Pyun directed and (as "Kitty Chalmers") wrote.

Cursed

Cursed
Miramax
February 25, 2005
Horror, Comedy
DVD
D+

Mainly interesting for its cast (most of whom I didn't get to see) and glimpses of Hollywood at night.  Wes Craven directed.

The Curse of Father Cardona

The Curse of Father Cardona AKA La maldición del padre Cardona 

Studio Unknown

October 2005

Comedy

DVD
C-

Spoiler: It's flatulence.  Félix Germán wrote and directed.

Cuando todo esté en orden

Cuando todo esté en orden AKA Everything in Place
Studio Unknown
17 May 2002
Drama
DVD
C-

Not much happens in the first quarter hour, other than people moving a broken bike in and out of the house, but that's fine.  César Martínez Herrada directed.

The Crow

The Crow
Miramax
May 13, 1994
Horror
DVD
D-

Both sleazy and pretentious.  Alex Proyas directed.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Sony
7 July 2000
Historical Drama
DVD
C-

Oddly enough, I think I saw this at the time, although it's not my genre.  (Well, and I know it technically is "action" but not much happens in the first quarter hour, other than a lot of talking about and examining of a sword.)  Ang Lee directed.

The Crossing Guard

The Crossing Guard
Miramax
November 16, 1995
Crime Drama
DVD
D+

Unsurprisingly, Nicholson is my least favorite aspect of this movie.  Sean Penn wrote and directed.

The Crook AKA Le Voyou

The Crook AKA Le Voyou
United Artists
20 November 1970
Crime Drama, Musical
DVD
C-

I chose the odd combination of tags because this starts out with a musical number, which turns out to be a scene from a movie-within-the-movie, as we learn when there's a flashback.  Still not my cup of tea, but more interesting than most crime dramas.  Claude Lelouch directed and co-wrote.

Cromwell

Cromwell
Columbia
16 July 1970
Historical Drama
DVD
D+

Stagy story of Oliver Cromwell during the Civil War, written and directed by Ken Hughes.  This is the sixth Alec Guinness movie I've rejected, but I did go through an "Alec Guinness collection" early on.

"Crocodile" Dundee

"Crocodile" Dundee
Paramount
September 26, 1986
Action, Comedy
DVD
C-

I saw and enjoyed the movie at the time but it didn't really hold my interest this time.  Paul Hogan not only stars as the title character but he co-wrote the story.  Peter Faiman directed.

Critic's Choice

Critic's Choice
Warner Bros.
April 13, 1963
Comedy
DVD
C+

Although I don't remember this movie specifically, I did spend a good chunk of the second decade of my life watching movies like this on television, many of them with Hope and/or Ball, and today I found it unfunny yet fascinating.  There's tremendous cognitive dissonance between what the movie thinks it's showing onscreen and what we're actually seeing.  For instance, when his twelvish son gives his opinion on why she hasn't gotten pregnant yet, I wanted him to say, "Because you're 59 and she's 51."  (If you're curious, Jessie Royce Landis was technically old enough at 66 to be Lucy's mother, although she doesn't look it.)

Bob is a theater critic and Lucy is an aspiring playwright, and we're meant to pity him for her neglecting him, and possibly having an affair, even though he flirts with his ex-wife and puts down both women at every opportunity.  The subtext does rise to the surface at times, as when Lucy calls Bob a "male chauvinist"!  And the performances aren't bad, especially Rickey Kelman's as the son/stepson, adding nuance to what could've just been a precocious-brat role.  So, yeah, recommended, even though I heard only one marginally funny line (Bob's about a compact car and a big head).

Don Weis directed this about a year before Pajama Party, a movie where subtext just overthrows text and, yes, parties all night.

The fourth hundred movies on this blog

Four hundred movies into this project, and the success rate holds steady at 12%, that is getting a C+ or higher.  Of the bottom of the barrel, there's still only one F, but now eight F+s instead of six, 32 D-s instead of only 22, 50 D's rather than 40, and 82 D+s rather than 61.  C-s couldn't keep doubling indefinitely, so they simply went from 90 to 124, while the C's more modestly climbed from 41 to 50.  Those that just passed, the C+s, grew from 12 to 17, while B-s did nearly as well, 12 to 16.  The B's increased from ten to thirteen, and another B+ was added, now three instead of two.

As for the decade breakdown, the 1920s managed to double to four, and the '30s also doubled, from nine to seventeen.  The '40s are at 17 as well, rather than 11.  The '50s just hopped from 25 to 30, while the '60s grew from 14 to 21.  The '70s, which tripled last time, just went from 18 to 23.  The '80s increased from 29 to 41, the '90s from 44 to 59.  The reigning decade of the 2000s went from 81 to 105, while last decade grew from 67 to 83.  (Yes, at some point I will review 2020s movies, but obviously not any time soon.)

Movies based on books, which were one-fifth of the total initially, and then almost one-fourth last time, are now more than one-fourth, with 103.  Warner Brothers is still the king of the studios, with 51, although as always I have to point out that it's harder now with less centralization.

Predictions?  I'll definitely finish the Cs before I hit five hundred, maybe even the D's.  And there will be some D's in those D's, just as there have been some C's in these C's.

Crimson Tide

Crimson Tide
Buena Vista AKA Disney
May 12, 1995
Action
DVD
D-

Not only is this a Simpson-Bruckheimer movie about the military, but characters' obnoxiousness is presented as wit.  Still, it wasn't racist or violent (just sexist) in the first quarter hour.  Tony Scott directed.

This is the fourth Gene Hackman film I've rejected, and with each one I thank God that Robert Reed snagged the Mike Brady role.

Crimson Gold

Crimson Gold
Studio Unknown
24 May 2003
Crime Drama
DVD
C

Although I wasn't that involved in the story, I liked the cinematography and touches of wry humor.  Jafar Panahi directed.

Creed

Creed
Warner Bros.
November 25, 2015
Sports Drama
DVD
D-

Modern spin-off of the Rocky series, which I've never seen (yet).  Ryan Coogler directed and co-wrote.

Coyote Summer

Coyote Summer
Studio Unknown
1996
Drama
DVD
D+

Low-budget movie with minimal camerawork and meh acting, but the horses are nice to look at.  Matias Alvarez directed.

Cousins

Cousins
Paramount
February 10, 1989
Romcom
DVD
C-

As with Courtship of Eddie's Father, it's hard for me to get into a comedy when I don't find any of the characters interesting or likable, despite a memorable cast.  Joel Schumacher directed.

The Courtship of Eddie's Father

The Courtship of Eddie's Father
MGM
March 27, 1963
Comedy
DVD
C-

I used to watch the TV show as a kid, but I don't think I've ever seen the movie before, so I was surprised by the lack of charisma of Ford and Howard, together and separately.  This is based on the Mark Toby novel, and surprisingly directed by Vincente Minnelli.

Courageous

Courageous
TriStar
September 30, 2011
Drama
DVD
D

The personal lives of various cops, with the only action sequence in the first quarter hour being borderline racist.  Alex Kendrick directed, co-wrote (with his brother Stephen), and stars as one of the policemen.

The Countess

The Countess
BAC Films
25 June 2009
Historical Drama
DVD
D-

Bad acting for an unpleasant subject, but I did like the costumes.  Julie Delpy directed, wrote, and stars as the title character, so she can take much of the blame.

Corpse Bride

Corpse Bride
Warner Bros.
September 23, 2005
Animation, Fantasy, Horror, Musical, Comedy, Romance
DVD
B-

I probably would've rated this a B when I saw it at the time, but it's aged pretty well.  The look and sound are solid.  (I especially like that the world of the dead is livelier and more colorful than the Victorian world of "Victor" and "Victoria.")  But I think the writing is a little weak, including the lyrics.  And, yes, the movie covers a lot of genres.  Tim Burton and Mike Johnson co-directed.

This is the fourth Johnny Depp movie I've reviewed on this blog.  Note that I'm omitting Deep Roy and a few other people from the over-crowded tags.

Police Academy 5: Miami Beach

Police Academy 5: Miami Beach
Warner Bros.
March 18, 1988
Crime Comedy
DVD
D+

This is the earliest of three PA movies packaged with Loaded Weapon on a "cop comedy" collection, so, yes, we're still in the Co's.  It's a series I've been aware of since the time but I don't think I've ever seen more than a few minutes total before this entry, apparently the first without Steve Guttenberg.  I found it surprisingly flat and even the recognizable faces (including a non-Cajun post-M*A*S*H G.W. Bailey and a non-sexpot post-Laverne-and-Shirley Leslie Easterbrook) couldn't capture my interest.  I do like that the cast is biracial though.

I'm crediting Gene Quintano, since he co-created these characters, and yes, he was also responsible for Loaded Weapon.  Alan Myerson directed.

Loaded Weapon 1

Loaded Weapon 1
New Line Cinema
February 5, 1993
Parody, Crime Comedy
DVD
C-

This isn't bad for what it is, sort of a low-rent (but still celebrity-filled) entry in the Naked Gun genre, but I didn't laugh once in fifteen minutes.  Gene Quintano directed and co-wrote.

Cookie

Cookie
Warner Bros.
August 23, 1989
Crime Comedy
DVD
C+

Co-written by Nora Ephron and directed by Susan Seidelman, this is more oddball comedy than screwball comedy, in that it's one of those "mob Family & family" movies of that era (mid- to late '80s), but it hasn't quite worked out the plot or the plotting.  It has a whole bunch of still recognizable faces, some of which it forgets about.  (Um, goodbye Ricki Lake, it was nice glimpsing you.)  But I found it mildly entertaining for what it was, and Lloyd acquits herself well with the New York accent and the morphing wardrobe.

Coogan's Bluff

Coogan's Bluff
Universal
October 2, 1968
Crime Drama
DVD
D

Sexist and racist (e.g. Clint tells his girlfriend, as they're making out, that the Native American suspect tied up like an animal outside is a murderer, but it's okay because "it was only his wife"), although the banjo music is nice.  Don Siegel directed.

Convicted AKA Return to Sender

Convicted AKA Return to Sender
Studio Unknown
January 29, 2005
Crime Drama
DVD
D+

A man becomes pen pals (yes, pun intended) with convicted murderers, hence the DVD release title/ original title.  Bille August directed.

Conversation(s) with Other Women

Conversation(s) with Other Women
Studio Unknown
September 2, 2005
Romance
DVD
C-

A man and a woman talk and flirt at a wedding, with an inexplicable split-screen technique.

Conversations with Mom AKA Conversaciones con mamá

Conversations with Mom AKA Conversaciones con mamá
Primer Plano Film Group
15 April 2004
Dramedy
DVD
C-

I almost liked the interaction between the middle-aged guy and his elderly mom, but when he was pressured into kicking her out of the apartment, I liked them both less.  Santiago Carlos Oves wrote and directed.  The 2000s are now the first decade to reach 100 on this blog.

The Constant Gardener

The Constant Gardener
Focus Features
August 31, 2005
Romance, Crime Drama
DVD
D-

Amazingly unbelievable dialogue for an unlikely meet-cute, and then there's a trip to the morgue thrown into the muddled timeline.  Based on the John le Carré novel and directed by Fernando Meirelles.

Conspiracy Theory

Conspiracy Theory
Warner Bros.
August 8, 1997
Drama
DVD
D+

I would've liked this movie a lot more if it had just been the cabbie (Gibson) ranting to his passengers.  Richard Donner directed.

The Congress

The Congress
Drafthouse Films
16 May 2013
Sci-Fi
DVD
D+

Robin Wright plays a version of herself who gets an offer to have her total likeness captured on film, for all eternity.  The thing is, does anyone actually care that much about Robin Wright that they'd want to watch her decades from now?  Based on this movie, I don't.

The film is based on the Stanislaw Lem novel The Futurological Congress, definitely a worse although less misleading title.  (Yes, I would rather have watched Wright become a representative.)  Ari Folman wrote the screenplay and directed. 

Confetti

Confetti
BBC Films
5 May 2006
Mockumentary
DVD
C-

Debbie Isitt directed and came up with the concept for this improvised (a la Christopher Guest) tale of a creative-wedding competition.  The thing is, the weddings aren't that imaginative (seriously, tennis?) and the results aren't that funny.  Apparently, the DVD has three endings (a bit like Clue), but I didn't care enough to watch beyond the beginning.

The Commitments

The Commitments
Fox
August 14, 1991
Comedy, Musical
DVD
C+

I really wanted to like this movie, which I'd spent almost thirty years hoping to eventually see but not making any strong effort for.  Well, it didn't live up to the acclaim or my hopes.  I mean, it's an adequate movie about an adequate Irish cover band, with a few nice touches, like the Elvis-worshiping father of the manager.  Roddy Doyle co-wrote the screenplay based on his novel, and Alan Parker directed.

Commandos Strike at Dawn

Commandos Strike at Dawn
Columbia
December 30, 1942
Romance
DVD
C-

Yeah, yeah, IMDB says "Drama, History, War" and you think with a title like that you wouldn't get a long wedding sequence about people you know nothing about, but, shrug, there you go (at least in the first quarter hour).  This was directed by John Farrow and based on the C.S. Forester short story "Commandos," so I'm using the "based on a book" tag for the 100th time on this blog.

Commandos

Commandos
Columbia
19 November 1968
War Drama
DVD
D

Dull World War II drama, based on a short story by Menahem Golan and directed by Armando Crispino.

Coming to America

Coming to America
Paramount
June 29, 1988
Comedy
DVD
D+

It's hard to say which is more cringey, the racism or the sexism, but I think I'm going to go with the racist sexism.  I did smile at the intercom joke though, and the sets are great, so a D+ rather than a D.  Murphy co-wrote and Landis directed.

Coming Apart

Coming Apart
Studio Unknown
October 26, 1969
Drama
DVD
F+

A creepy guy (apparently a psychiatrist, although I don't think is clear from the first quarter hour) secretly films himself interacting sexually with increasingly creepy women.  If there's a point in this, I wasn't going to stick around to find out.  Milton Moses Ginsberg wrote and directed.

Columbus Day

Columbus Day
Studio Unknown
March 24, 2009 (to American DVD)
Crime Drama
DVD
D+

A lot of the first quarter-hour is the criminal played by Kilmer talking on his flip phone.  I was going to go with a D, but the little kid who talks to him in the park (and almost but not quite explains the movie title) amused me.  Charles Burmeister wrote and directed.

Colossus of Rhodes

Colossus of Rhodes
MGM
25 August 1961
Historical Drama
DVD
C-

A reasonable amount of spectacle, hey, at least more than in the first fifteen minutes of Cleopatra a couple years later.  Sergio Leone directed.