Diamonds Are Forever

Diamonds Are Forever
United Artists
December 17, 1971
Action
DVD
D

I knew I wasn't going to stick with this, as soon as Bond (Connery in this entry) made a leering pun and then choked a woman with her own bikini top!  (Note that two of the villains appear to be gay, since they hold hands after blowing up a helicopter.)  Still, I'll admit there is style to this series, including the credit sequences.  Hypothetically, I might watch a different entry, maybe with a different lead.  Guy Hamilton directed this one, a couple years after Battle of Britain.

Diamantino

Diamantino
NOS Audiovisuals (etc.)
14 September 2018
Fantasy, Sports Comedy
DVD
C

Strange story about a soccer star who daydreams of giant fluffy puppies, while dealing with family drama, worldwide attention (including being spied on by a lesbian couple), and the refugee crisis.  Gabriel Abrantes and Daniel Schmidt co-directed and co-wrote.

The Devil's Tomb

The Devil's Tomb

Sony

May 26, 2009 (direct to DVD)

Horror

DVD
D

Wikipedia says, "The Devil's Tomb is a 2009 American horrible film," which sums it up nicely.  I did bump this up from a D- for a nice effect with orange dust.  Jason Connery, yes, son of Sean, directed.

Devil in a Blue Dress

Devil in a Blue Dress
TriStar
September 29, 1995
Crime Drama
DVD
B-

This neo-noir mostly works well, with its blend of mystery and social commentary, although there were times I found it confusing, and others that I found it predictable.  (I knew the Beals character was "passing" as soon as I saw her.)  The look and sound of 1940s Los Angeles are especially well done.

Carl Franklin directed and wrote the screenplay based on the Walter Mosley novel.  Denzel's then 11-year-old son, John David Washington, appears very briefly at the end, as Boy with Toy Rifle, 23 years before he'd star in BlacKKKlansman.

The Devil and Daniel Webster AKA All That Money Can Buy

The Devil and Daniel Webster AKA All That Money Can Buy
RKO
October 17, 1941
Historical Drama, Fantasy
DVD
C-

A farmer has a lot of bad luck, and then the Devil shows up.  Based on the Stephen Vincent Benét short story and directed by William Dieterle.

Detroit

Detroit
Annapurna Pictures
August 4, 2017
Historical Drama
DVD
C

While this is definitely an interesting subject (the 1967 Detroit riots), I found it too chaotic to follow.  I would've rather it focused on one set of people, or had a narrator or something to shape it more.  Kathryn Bigelow directed.

Detective Story

Detective Story
Paramount
November 6, 1951
Crime Drama
DVD
C-

With its touches of stationhouse humor, this plays (at least in the first quarter hour) almost like a grittier Barney Miller.  Note that this was 25-year-old Lee Grant's first movie, as the Shoplifter.  William Wyler directed eight years before Ben-Hur.

Despicable Me 2

Despicable Me 2
Universal
July 3, 2013
Animation, Comedy, Sci-Fi
DVD
D+

I enjoyed the first movie but this one (which I can't honestly remember if I saw before), while not despicable, has a lot of predictable, unfunny humor.  Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud co-directed.

Desperately Seeking Susan

Desperately Seeking Susan
Orion
April 12, 1985
Comedy, Romance
DVD
B-

I of course heard about this movie at the time (how could a 17-year-old not?), but I was always somewhere in the middle on the "You either love her or you hate her" Madonna scale.  Watching it today I found it a bit slow and quiet, especially for the mid-'80s.  It's really more Arquette's movie, although it is "about Madonna."  And Metcalf is of course a scene-stealer as Arquette's sister-in-law (with proto-Jackie-Harris lines).  Oddly enough, it casts more light on the flop Who's That Girl (reviewed here https://reviewingeverymovieiown.blogspot.com/2014/12/whos-that-girl.html), with Madonna as a rule-breaker who causes others to stray.  I'm not calling this a "musical" (and it is a comedy and a romance but not a romcom) but there are a lot of hits in the background, including a well-used "Into the Groove." 

Susan Seidelman directed this four years before Cookie, which I think was trying to recapture the magic of this movie, with its mix of '80s fashion, snark, and crime.

Desperate Characters

Desperate Characters
Paramount
September 22, 1971
Drama
DVD
C-

MacLaine is unhappily married to Mars in Brooklyn.  I bumped this up a notch for a cat and hippie Carol Kane.  Frank D. Gilroy directed and wrote based on the Paula Fox novel.

Desperado

Desperado
Columbia
August 25, 1995
Crime Drama
DVD
C-

Too violent for my tastes, but I did like the pre-credit device of Buscemi telling the tale to bartender Marin.  Robert Rodriguez wrote and directed.

The Descendants [2011]

The Descendants [2011]
Fox Searchlight
December 9, 2011
Drama
DVD
C-

Clooney and his cousins own a bunch of land in Hawaii, and his wife is in a coma.  Based on the Kaui Hart Hemmings novel and directed by Alexander Payne, who co-wrote the screenplay.

Demolition

Demolition
Fox Searchlight
April 8, 2016
Drama
DVD
D-

A boring Yuppie wife dies in a boring Yuppie car accident (to generic classical music!) and the boring Yuppie widower mourns her in a boring Yuppie way, by writing about his marriage in a complaint letter to a vending machine company and emotionlessly continuing to be an investment banker.  Jean-Marc Vallée directed.

Delta Farce

Delta Farce
Lionsgate
May 11, 2007
War Comedy
DVD
D-

Unfunny, crude, and predictable, directed by C.B. Harding.

De-Lovely

De-Lovely
MGM
August 6, 2004
Historical De-Drama, Romance, Musical
De-DVD
De-D

De-pretentious, de-awkward, de-DNFable.  De-directed by Irwin Winkler.

Delhi Belly

Delhi Belly
UTV Motion Pictures
1 July 2011
Comedy
DVD
C-

Indian movie but English language (sometimes very obscene language) about young slackers involved in journalism.  I guess this turns into a crime comedy at some point after I tuned out.  Abhinay Deo and Akshat Verma co-directed.

This is the 100th movie on this blog from the 2010s, but it'll probably take awhile to catch up to the 2000s, if it ever happens.

Delgo

Delgo
Freestyle Releasing
December 12, 2008
Animation, Fantasy
DVD
B-

I liked this more than I expected, although the tropes do cross over into cliches at times.  The look is good, and I'm saying that as someone who is generally not a fan of computer animation.  The celebrity voices help*, most notably villainess Bancroft and Idle as her spooneristic minion.  Mark F. Adler and Jason Maurer co-directed, and co-wrote with others.

*I'm omitting Sally Kellerman, Kelly Ripa, and Burt Reynolds from the crowded tags.

Deep Impact

Deep Impact
Paramount
May 8, 1998
Drama*
DVD
C-

See the footnote.  Mimi Leder directed, and I didn't see most of the famous faces who show up later in the movie.


*Apparently this turns into sci-fi later, but all I saw in the first quarter hour was tepid political drama and kind of interesting backstage news cycles.

Decision at Sundown

Decision at Sundown
Columbia
November 10, 1957
Western
DVD
C-

A sharper than usual script made this more interesting to me than most Westerns.  Boetticher directed this the year before he'd do Buchanan Rides Alone, also starring Scott.  The title, by the way, refers to a town called Sundown, although maybe something happens at dusk, too.

The Death of Superman

The Death of Superman
Warner Bros.
July 24, 2018 (direct-to-video)
Animation, Fantasy, Action
DVD
D+

Mild humor and a racially mixed "cast" (at one point there were three brown faces out of four on the screen) help lift this out the dullness a bit.

The Death of Mr. Lazarescu

The Death of Mr. Lazarescu
Tartan USA
22 September 2005
Comedy
DVD
C

I still don't really know what this movie is about after a quarter hour, but I do know that watching a fat, cranky old man go about his day, including making phone calls and talking to his cats, was more entertaining than most of the movies this project has subjected me to.  Cristi Puiu directed and co-wrote.

Death in Venice

Death in Venice
Warner Bros.
5 March 1971
Historical Drama
DVD
D

Dull adaptation of the Thomas Mann novella, without even memorable scenery, directed and co-written by Luchino Visconti.

Death in Love

Death in Love
Screen Media Films
July 17, 2009
Historical Drama
DVD
F-

This is the first time I have ever given out an F- on any of my blogs.  (Even the Fs are rare.)  But I found the first quarter hour utterly repellent, as it's pretentious torture porn.  At least I know that probably all the other movies for this project will be more pleasant viewing experiences, so there's that.

Boaz Yakin wrote and directed and I hope I never run into his work again.

Daylight's End

Daylight's End
Vertical Entertainment
August 26, 2016
Horror, Sci-Fi
DVD
D-

I found this almost refreshing in comparison to Dawn of the Dead, since at first there was minimal dialogue and no pretense that we were supposed to care about any of the characters in this live-action videogame.  And then I got up to the beginning of an attempted rape (I assume the silent hero comes to the rescue) and had to lower this from a D.  William Kaufman directed.

The Day of the Jackal

The Day of the Jackal
Universal
15 June 1973
Crime Drama
DVD
D

Somewhat silly bungled-assassination story (I could see this maybe working as a dark comedy), based on the Frederick Forsyth novel and directed by Fred Zinnemann

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
20th Century Fox
July 11, 2014
Sci-Fi
DVD
D

I was rooting for the bear.  Matt Reeves directed.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

"Honey, you don't seem yourself today."

Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Universal
March 19, 2004
Horror
DVD
F

Spectacularly crappy remake (no, I haven't seen the original), not simply gory (which I expected, although throwing in gore shortly after a shower makeout is unforgivable), but terrible on many levels, with a boring-video-game look and a "heroine" (Sarah Polley) who I called an idiot (and variations thereof) repeatedly out loud.  Misdirected by Zack Snyder.

David's Dinosaur

David's Dinosaur
Studio Unknown
December 12, 2017
Children's, Sci-Fi
DVD
D+

Very low-budget story of a boy and his beloved scientist grandfather, written and directed by Matthew Charles Hall.

Dave

Dave
Warner Bros.
May 7, 1993
Comedy
DVD
D+

Unfunny presidential version of The Prince and the Pauper, directed by Ivan Reitman.  I think I've tried to watch this once or twice before, like on cable in a hotel when I was channel-surfing.

Das Boot

Das Boot
Constantin Film
17 September 1981
War Drama
DVD
C-

Although this isn't my kind of movie, I can see it's well made.  Wolfgang Petersen directed and adapted the Lothar-Günther Buchheim novel, sixteen years before he'd do Air Force One.

The Darkest Minds

The Darkest Minds
20th Century Fox
August 3, 2018
Sci-Fi
DVD
D-

This is a faithful adaptation of the Young Adult novel in the sense that I DNFed the Alexandra Bracken book quickly for its darkness and implausibility.  Jennifer Yuh Nelson directed.

Dark Victory

Dark Victory
Warner Bros.
April 22, 1939
Drama, Romance
DVD
B-

I've of course heard of this movie for years, but the only Bette Davis movie I think I'd watched in full was All About Eve (which I own).  So it was interesting seeing her relatively young and playing a sweeter character, although with many moods and shades to her personality.  It pretty much is just her movie, with everyone else, even a future president, Clarence the angel, and Bogie*, fading into the background.  I thus found the movie entertaining but can't rate it as high as something with a more balanced cast.  Edmund Goulding directed.

*This is, by the way, the fourth out of five Humphrey Bogart movies I've watched all the way through for this blog.  And I'm sure there will be more.

The Dark Tower

The Dark Tower
Sony
August 4, 2017
Fantasy, Action
DVD
D

I of course preferred the ordinary, New-Yorky best friend of the main kid out of all the characters in the two (or more?) worlds.  This is based on the Stephen King series.  Nikolaj Arcel directed and co-wrote the adaptation.

Dark Shadows

Dark Shadows
Warner Bros.
May 11, 2012
Horror, Historical Comedy
DVD
C

When I saw this in the theater, I think my rating was a C+, but I just didn't care enough about the characters this time to go beyond fifteen minutes.  However, the look of the film (directed by Tim Burton) is great, hence the C.  This is incidentally the fifth Johnny Depp movie I've looked at for this project, and so far he's batting .400, better than a lot of performers.

Dark River

Dark River
Arrow Films
23 February 2018
Drama
DVD
C

A young woman inherits her father's farm and seems to be haunted by memories.  Bumped up to a C mostly due to lovely scenery.  This is loosely based on the Rose Tremain novel Trespass and directed by Clio Barnard.

Dark Passage

Dark Passage
Warner Bros.
September 27, 1947
Crime Drama, Romance
DVD
B-

Bogie & Bacall in a strange (e.g. ether-induced hallucination as Bogart's character gets plastic surgery!), at times even corny story that works almost despite itself, helped by San Francisco scenery and an able supporting cast.  Delmer Daves directed and based the screenplay on the David Goodis novel.

The Dark Knight Rises

The Dark Knight Rises
Warner Bros.
July 20, 2012
Action
DVD
D

A movie so bad that it sounds like Michael Caine is faking a British accent, although I will admit the cinematography was pretty good.  Christopher Nolan directed and co-wrote.

The Dark Horse (2014)

The Dark Horse (2014)
Transmission Films
17 July 2014
Drama
DVD
C-

A mentally ill man loves chess.  James Napier Robertson wrote and directed.

Dark Horse (2011)

Dark Horse (2011)
Brainstorm Media
June 8, 2012
Dramedy
DVD
D+

One of those movies I'd like better without the main character.  Todd Solondz wrote and directed.

The Dark Crystal

The Dark Crystal
Universal
December 17, 1982
Fantasy
DVD
D+

I of course have known about this movie since the time, but I've never been in a hurry to watch it, due to my ambivalence about Jim Henson productions.  Anyway, I found the story dull and the look not as great as I'd been led to believe.

Dark Crimes

Dark Crimes
Saban Films
May 18, 2018
Crime Drama
DVD
D-

Carrey as an investigator of "dark" crimes in Poland.  Alexandros Avranas directed.

Dark Command

I guess it's a romance, too.

Dark Command
Republic Pictures
April 15, 1940
Western
DVD
C

This isn't bad for a Western, with humor (including a W.C. Fields-like scene of a dentist and a female patient) and somewhat interesting characters.  I didn't want to keep going, but I've certainly watched more unpleasant first quarter-hours lately.  This is based on the W.R. Burnett novel and directed by Raoul Walsh.

Dark City

Dark City
New Line Cinema
February 27, 1998
Sci-Fi, Crime Drama
DVD
D+

While this definitely isn't my kind of movie, I did like the quasi-1940sness, like with the dialogue.  It might've even been a C- or C if less violent, although I know that's too much to ask.  Alex Proyas directed and co-wrote, four years after The Crow.

Dark Blue

Dark Blue
United Artists
February 21, 2003
Crime Drama
DVD
D-

Heartless (and gratuitously sexist) criminals (robbery and murder), racist and smug cops, directed by Ron Shelton.  The only interesting thing here was the stuff about Rodney King in the background.  This is the fifth Kurt Russell movie I've rejected, and probably not the last.

Dark (2015)

Dark (2015)
Studio Unknown
October 17, 2015
Drama
DVD
D

I guess this turns into a horror movie later, but the first quarter hour is sort of a day in the life of a boring, bisexual yoga instructor.  Nick Basile directed and co-wrote.

The Darjeeling Limited

The Darjeeling Limited 
Fox Searchlight
October 26, 2007
Dramedy
DVD
C-

Although I generally like Wes Anderson movies, I had the feeling as soon as Bill Murray was left at the station that I wouldn't be following this journey to the end.  The sets are of course good, but I just didn't care about the tale of three American brothers on a train in India.

Daredevil

Daredevil
Fox
February 14, 2003
Action, Sci-Fi, Sports Drama
DVD
F+

Not only is this full of stuff I'm not looking for in a movie (including boxing and streetfighting), but I'm taking it down a notch for the "dysfunctional Lite-Brite" opening credits.  Mark Steven Johnson wrote and directed.

Dare

Dare
Image Entertainment
November 13, 2009
Drama
DVD
C

I liked the first ten minutes or so of this as a slice-of-life high school story, but then of course the pompous actor (Cumming) had to dare the protagonist to leave her comfort zone.  Adam Salky directed.

Danny Deckchair

Danny Deckchair
Lionsgate
31 July 2003
Comedy
DVD
D+

A loser's live-in girlfriend cheats on him, which presumably inspires him to strap helium balloons to his deckchair.  Jeff Balsmeyer directed and co-wrote.

Danny Collins

Danny Collins
Bleecker Street
March 20, 2015
Dramedy
DVD
D

An over-the-hill rock star (Pacino) worships John Lennon so he indulges in cocaine, vanity, and egregious sexism.  Apparently his life changes when he gets a 40+-year-old letter, but I wasn't going to stick around to find out.  Dan Fogelman wrote and directed.

The Danish Girl

The Danish Girl
Focus Features
5 September 2015
Historical Drama
DVD
C-

Husband-and-wife painters in 1920s Copenhagen, with a bit of cross-dressing in the first quarter hour.  This is based on the David Ebershoff novel and directed by Tom Hooper (six years after The Damned United).