The Great Muppet Caper

The Great Muppet Caper 

Universal

June 26, 1981

Children's, Fantasy, Mystery, Musical

DVD
C-

Even at the time, this was a lesser successor to The Muppet Movie (1979).  Watching it now, I winced at some of the jokes and found the songs unmemorable, although the energy is high, and I did like the photo of Kermit and Fozzie's father.  Jim Henson directed and of course voices Kermit and others.

The Great Mouse Detective

The Great Mouse Detective

Disney

July 2, 1986

Children's, Fantasy, Mystery

DVD
C-

I liked the look of the movie but I didn't care about the characters or the story.  There are four directors listed at IMDB: Ron Clements, Burny Mattinson, David Michener, and John Musker.

Great Expectations (2012)

Great Expectations (2012)

Lionsgate

21 October 2012

Historical Drama

DVD
C-

The direction, by Mike Newell, and production values are pretty good, but there are a lot of unpleasant characters.  (I had this issue with the book, which I gave a C+ on a different blog almost nine years ago.)

The Great Dan Patch

The Great Dan Patch

United Artists

July 22, 1949

Sports Drama, Romance

DVD
C-

Although the title character is a horse, most of the first quarter-hour seemed to be about a human love triangle.  Joseph M. Newman directed.

Cyrano de Bergerac

Cyrano de Bergerac

United Artists

November 16, 1950

Historical Drama, Romance

DVD
C

While I enjoyed Cyrano as heckler and all-around wit, I got bored with all the sword-fighting, so I gave up after half an hour.  Michael Gordon directed.  Note that this production led to one of my favorite episodes of Mad Movies with the L.A. Connection, currently available on YouTube.

The Last Time I Saw Paris

The Last Time I Saw Paris

MGM

November 18, 1954

Romance, Historical Drama

DVD
D+

Kind of dull love story between Johnson and Taylor, just after World War II (and thus a historical drama even nine years later).  This is based on the Fitzgerald short story "Babylon Revisited," and directed by Richard Brooks, who co-wrote and would direct Taylor in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof four years later.

Little Men (1940)

Little Men (1940)

RKO

December 7, 1940

Historical Comedy, Historical Drama

DVD
C

I gave this a half hour but I just felt like there was too much about the friend of Dan's foster father (Jack Oakie doing unfunny shtick, including about the black maid saying "you all") and not enough about Jo and her school.  Also, since when is Professor Bhaer Swiss?  But Elsie the Cow getting a prominent screen credit is probably the weirdest thing here.  Norman Z. McLeod directed.

Of Human Bondage (1934)

Of Human Bondage (1934)

RKO

July 20, 1934

Romance

DVD
D+

Definitely not a meet-cute.  John Cromwell directed, sixteen years before Caged, which also got a D+.

Call of the Wild (1972)

Call of the Wild (1972)

Universal

November 30, 1972 (Italian release date)

Historical Drama

DVD
D+

Apparently, Heston disliked this and it wasn't released in the U.S. until '75.  Ken Annakin directed.

Jungle Book (1942)

Jungle Book (1942)

United Artists

April 3, 1942

Historical Drama

DVD
C-

I wasn't that interested in this version of the story, but the nature cinematography is nice.  (I tuned out before Sabu showed up.)  Zoltan Korda directed.

The Legend of the Sea Wolf AKA Il lupo dei mari

The Legend of the Sea Wolf AKA Il lupo dei mari*

Studio Unknown

21 February 1975

Historical Drama

DVD
D-

Boring, violent, and poorly directed by Giuseppe Vari (as "Joseph Green").

*In some translations of the title, one or more the "the's" are left out.  The Jack London novel is The Sea-Wolf.

Anna Karenina (1948)

Anna Karenina (1948)

British Lion

22 January 1948

Historical Drama, Romance

DVD
B-

A streamlined but effective version of the very long novel*, with Leigh presenting a vulnerable and mostly sympathetic Anna.  Richardson even makes Anna's stick of a husband somewhat sympathetic.  Julien Duvivier directed and co-wrote.

*Levin disappears for about an hour, even though his religious and romantic struggles are a secondary thread in the book.

The Snows of Kilimanjaro

The Snows of Kilimanjaro

Twentieth Century Fox

September 17, 1952

Drama

DVD
D

This is in a "Great Cinema" collection, where everything seems to be based on literature, in this case on a Hemingway short story, and I am not a Hemingway fan.  Henry King co-directed with an uncredited Roy Ward Baker.

The Great Beauty AKA La grande bellezza

The Great Beauty AKA La grande bellezza

Medusa Film

21 May 2013

Drama?

DVD
D

All atmosphere and almost no characterization, like an interminable music video.  Paolo Sorrentino directed and co-wrote.

Cry Blood, Apache

Cry Blood, Apache

Liberty Entertainment

September 1970

Western

DVD
D-

A Western that looks like a biker-gang movie, with Joel McCrea playing son Jody's character as an older man.  Jack Starrett directed.

Four Rode Out

Four Rode Out

Sagittarius Productions

December 11, 1971

Western

DVD
D

If the direction and production values were better, I could see this being a D+ or even a C-, since it's comparatively intelligent and feminist, and the cast is somewhat surprising.  (I tuned out before Leslie Nielsen showed up.)  John Peyser directed and actor Dick Miller co-wrote.

Kid Vengeance

Kid Vengeance

Golan-Globus Productions

August 1977

Western

DVD
D+

I tuned out before the mother character was raped, although a rabbit was killed onscreen.  Still, this movie, Van Cleef's last released Western, isn't as violent as some of the others in this collection, at least in the first quarter hour.  Joseph Manduke directed.

Joshua AKA Black Rider AKA Joshua the Black Rider AKA Revenge

Joshua AKA Black Rider AKA Joshua the Black Rider AKA Revenge

Lone Star

December 1976

Western

DVD

D+

For the first time in this collection, this is not a spaghetti Western and doesn't have Lee Van Cleef.  Also, the title character is a black Civil War veteran, played by blaxploitation star Fred Williamson, who wrote the screenplay.  Larry G. Spangler directed.

God's Gun AKA Diamante Lobo

God's Gun AKA Diamante Lobo

Golan-Globus Productions

1976

Western

DVD
D

This one opens with a puppet show and has Van Cleef as a priest who's mentoring 14-year-old Garrett.  Gianfranco Parolini (as Frank Kramer) directed and co-wrote.

Death Rides a Horse AKA Da uomo a uomo

Death Rides a Horse AKA Da uomo a uomo

MGM

31 August 1967

Western

DVD
D-

This time, the story opens with rape and murder (thankfully not graphic) and Van Cleef's character doesn't show up until fifteen years later.  Giulio Petroni directed.

Days of Wrath AKA Days of Anger AKA I giorni dell'ira

Days of Wrath AKA Days of Anger AKA I giorni dell'ira

Sancrosiap

21 December 1967

Western

DVD
D+

Another Van Cleef spaghetti (well, with limburger) western, this time with a very '60s opening credits sequence.  This is based on Ron Barker/ Rolf O. Becker's novel Der Tod ritt dienstags (Death Rode on Tuesdays), with a screenplay co-written by director Tonino Valerii

Beyond the Law AKA Al di là della legge

Beyond the Law AKA Al di là della legge

Sancrosiap

10 April 1968

Western

DVD
D+

Ironically, the first movie in the "Great American Western" collection is pure spaghetti, although it does have Lee Van Cleef and Lionel Stander, and a joke about a "Negro" having to ride on the back of the stagecoach.  Also, the main character comes from "Europe."  Giorgio Stegani directed and co-wrote.

The Grass Harp

The Grass Harp

Fine Line Features

October 11, 1996

Historical Drama

DVD
D+

This has the feel of a forgettable TV-movie.  It's based on a Truman Capote novella and directed by Walter Matthau's son Charles.

Grandma

Grandma

Sony

September 18, 2015

Dramedy
DVD
B+

In one of her best roles ever, 75-year-old Tomlin is hilarious and moving as an aging lesbian poet trying to help her granddaughter raise money for an abortion.  The supporting cast is all around solid, with Sam Elliott a particular stand-out as a surprising ex.  Note, I loved the spin that this movie puts on the "your baby has fingernails" moment in Juno.  Also, I like all the different areas of Los Angeles that are shown in this story that takes place in just one day.  Paul Weitz wrote and directed nine years after the far inferior American Dreamz.  (But I do like Admission, and somewhat American Pie.)

Gran Torino

Gran Torino

Warner Bros.

December 12, 2008

Drama

DVD
D+

Clint is cranky, and he directs himself.

The Governess

The Governess 

Sony

11 June 1998

Historical Drama

DVD
C-

English-American Minnie Driver plays a wealthy Jewish Italian woman who decides to pass herself off as an English gentile in Scotland, I think.  Sandra Goldbacher wrote and directed.

Gorky Park

Gorky Park

Orion

December 16, 1983

Crime Drama

DVD
F+

Gross crime, horrible acting (especially by lead Hurt), and a rotten screenplay, based on the novel by Martin Cruz Smith.  Michael Apted, who did so well with the Up documentary series, misdirected.

Goosebumps

Goosebumps

Sony

October 16, 2015

Comedy

DVD
C-

Cliched but innocuous comedy that presumably turns into horror at some point, since it's based on the wildly popular children's book series by R. L. Stine.  Rob Letterman directed.

The Goonies

The Goonies

Warner Bros.

June 7, 1985

Crime Comedy

DVD
D+

This was a little after my time, but even if I'd been younger than seventeen, I don't think I would've liked the characters.  Still, the setting of Astoria, Oregon is cool.  Chris Columbus based the screenplay on a Spielberg story, and Richard Donner directed.

Gook

Gook

Samuel Goldwyn Films

January 21, 2017

Historical Drama, Crime Drama

DVD
D+

Los Angeles on the edge of the '92 riots.  Justin Chon wrote, directed, and stars.

Good Time

Good Time

A24

August 25, 2017

Crime Drama

DVD
D

Two brothers, one of them developmentally disabled (played by co-writer and, with his brother Benny, co-director Josh Safdie) and the other Robert Pattinson with facial hair, rob a bank.

Good Night, and Good Luck

Good Night, and Good Luck

Warner Bros.

November 4, 2005

Historical Drama

DVD
C-

I don't know if it's the influence of "reality TV" and documentaries or what, but modern historical dramas often have a flattening, distancing technique.  I saw it in The Front Runner (about Gary Hart) and I see it here in this story of Edward R. Murrow and Joseph McCarthy.  It's not just that this is in black & white, but some shots are through windows and from odd angles.  The acting, like in Chappaquiddick, is also distant, even in emotional scenes.  Anyway, I can see why this was so acclaimed, but it's not for me.  (The German Good Bye, Lenin, in contrast, makes us care about the characters while painlessly presenting then recent history.)  Clooney directed, co-wrote, and plays Fred Friendly.

The Good Guys and the Bad Guys

The Good Guys and the Bad Guys

Warner Bros.

October 10, 1969

Western

DVD
C-

The lead performances by Mitchum and Balsam aren't bad, although I could live without the visual of Buddy Hackett thinking about a bordello.  Burt Kennedy directed.

The Good Earth

The Good Earth

MGM

August 6, 1937

Historical Drama

DVD
D+

Apparently, there was nothing funnier to Chinese peasants of a century ago or so than a marriage between total strangers.  Based of course on the Pearl S. Buck novel and with four directors, most of them uncredited: Sidney Franklin, Victor Fleming, Gustav Machaty, and Sam Wood.

Good Bye, Lenin!

Good Bye, Lenin!

X-Filme

13 February 2003

Historical Comedy, Historical Drama

DVD
B

A quietly funny, bittersweet dramedy, set in East Germany before, during, and after the Berlin Wall comes down.  The characters are likable even when they do questionable things, and I was intrigued to see how it would all work out, or not.  Also, the twins playing Baby Paula have to be some of the most adorable ever onscreen.  Wolfgang Becker directed and co-wrote.

Good Boys

Good Boys

Universal

August 16, 2019

Comedy

DVD
C-

Preteens talk about blowjobs before they even understanding kissing.  Gene Stupnitsky directed and co-wrote.

Gone Girl

Gone Girl

20th Century Fox

October 3, 2014

Mystery

DVD
D-

Gillian Flynn's adaptation of her novel has impressively unrealistic, "arch" dialogue.  David Fincher directed and seems to have gotten a bit worse since The Game and Fight Club in the '90s.  But I didn't "hate" the movie.

Don't Come Knocking

Don't Come Knocking

Sony

May 19, 2005

Drama

DVD
D+

Sam Shepard co-wrote with director Wim Wenders and plays an actor who runs away from a film being shot in the desert.

Falling from Grace

Falling from Grace

Columbia

February 21, 1992

Drama

DVD
D+

John Mellencamp directed and stars in this story, written by Larry McMurtry, in which a successful country singer goes home to his extended small-town family.

Bloodworth

Bloodworth

Samuel Goldwyn Films

May 20, 2011

Drama

DVD
D+

About the dysfunctional Bloodworth family, and their mailman, based on William Gay's novel Provinces of Night and directed by Shane Dax Taylor.

Songwriter

Songwriter

TriStar

October 14, 1984

Dramedy, Musical

DVD
C+

This is on a four-movie set called "Gone Country" and I think there's a kernel of a good movie inside it, but I just couldn't get invested in it enough to sort through most of the characters or care as much as I'd like to about the leads.  Still, Nelson and Kristofferson have an easy-going bromantic chemistry and the songs are good, although I'm not a country music fan.  Alan Rudolph directed.

Gone Baby Gone

Gone Baby Gone

Miramax and Disney?!

October 19, 2007

Mystery

DVD
D+

I didn't really care about the case or the detectives.  Director Ben Affleck (yes, brother of lead Casey) co-wrote the screenplay based on the Dennis Lehane novel.

Gold Diggers of 1935

Gold Diggers of 1935

Warner Bros.

March 15, 1935

Comedy

DVD
C-

I tuned out before there was any singing, although there was of course some very choreographed movement, which is why this is not quite a musical in the first quarter hour.  Not that it was especially funny, but they were certainly trying.  Busby Berkeley is the unmistakable director.

Godzilla AKA Gojira (1954)

Godzilla AKA Gojira (1954)

Toho

November 3, 1954

Action

DVD
D+

I tuned out before the big guy made his onscreen debut (which is why the first quarter hour isn't sci-fi), but he was name-dropped.  Ishirô Honda directed.

Gods of Egypt

Gods of Egypt

Summit

February 26, 2016

Fantasy, Historical Drama

DVD
C-

From cleavage to CGI (and perhaps CGI cleavage), this is eye candy, but the characters aren't that interesting, considering.  Alex Proyas directed and this is an improvement over The Crow and Dark City.

God's Not Dead: A Light in Darkness

God's Not Dead: A Light in Darkness

Pure Flix

March 20, 2018

Drama

DVD
C-

This third in the series isn't bad for propaganda, with nice production values and decent acting.  Michael Mason directed and co-wrote.

Glory Road

Glory Road

Buena Vista (Disney)

January 13, 2006

Sports Drama, Historical Drama

DVD
C-

Not bad for a sports drama, since it does address racism in the '60s, but still not my thing.  This is based on the book by Don Haskins and Daniel Wetzel, and directed by James Gartner.

Glass Castle

Glass Castle

Lionsgate

August 11, 2017

Historical Drama

DVD
D

A dysfunctional family in the '60s through '80s, based on Jeannette Walls's book and life, directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, who co-wrote the screenplay.

The Giver

The Giver 

Weinstein Company

August 15, 2014

Sci-Fi

DVD
C-

I read the Lois Lowry book years ago, but I don't remember much about it, so I can't say how faithful an adaptation is.  I just know that the film doesn't offer a dystopia I wanted to linger in, even at a distance.  Phillip Noyce directed and had improved somewhat in the twenty years since Clear and Present Danger.

Lego Friends: Girlz 4 Life

Lego Friends: Girlz 4 Life

Warner Home Video

February 3, 2016 (direct-to-DVD)

Animation, Children's

DVD
C-

Not bad for what it is I guess, especially the music, but I couldn't really get invested in the story or the characters.  Darren Campbell, Christian Cheshire, and Thomas J. Mikkelsen all co-directed.

Girl with Green Eyes

Girl with Green Eyes

United Artists

14 May 1964

Romance

DVD
B-

It's black & white, so you have to take the eye colour on faith.  Similarly, the way sexuality is handled is by suggestion rather than explicitness, although I'm sure this was somewhat shocking in its day.  The performances are solid (Lynn Redgrave has a memorable debut as the girl's best friend), and it's a mostly quiet character piece.  I appreciate that there's not a traditional Happily Ever After, since that wouldn't be right for this couple.  Edna O'Brien adapted her novel The Lonely Girl, and Desmond Davis directed.

The Girl in the Spider's Web

The Girl in the Spider's Web

Sony Pictures

November 9, 2018

Action
DVD
D

Fede Alvarez directed and co-wrote the screenplay based on the book by David Lagercrantz.  I'd heard of the series, both film and print, but not my cuppa.

Giant Little Ones

Giant Little Ones

Mongrel Media

9 September 2018

Drama

DVD
C-

The troubles of popular teens.  Keith Berhrman wrote and directed.

The Giant Behemoth

The Giant Behemoth

Allied Artists

March 3, 1959

Sci-Fi

DVD
C-

Yes, the title is redundant, although it was also known as Behemoth the Sea Monster and simply The Behemoth.  Anyway, this Anglo-American production sits on that fence between enjoyably campy and too earnest for its own good.  Douglas Hickox and Eugène Lourié co-directed.

The Ghost Writer

The Ghost Writer

Summit

18 February 2010

Mystery

DVD
C

I was more interested in the publishing side than the intrigue.  Robert Harris adapted his novel The Ghost with director Polanski.

A Ghost Story (2017)

A Ghost Story (2017)

A24

July 7, 2017

Romance

DVD
D

So slow-moving that there was a point (what felt like a few minutes) during a love scene when I thought either the characters had fallen asleep or the DVD had frozen.  David Lowery wrote and directed.

 

Ghost Stories

Ghost Stories

Lionsgate

5 October 2017

Horror

DVD
C-

A debunker has his disbelief challenged by his idol.  Andy Nyman stars and co-wrote and co-directed with Jeremy Dyson

Ghost Rider

Ghost Rider

Sony Pictures

February 16, 2007

Fantasy

DVD
D+

Putting the "evil" into Evel Knievel.  I managed to tune out before Nicolas Cage showed up and added to his rejected films on this blog.  Mark Steven Johnson wrote and directed, four years before Daredevil.

G-Force

G-Force

Disney

July 24, 2009

Children's, Fantasy

DVD
D+

I wasn't sure which was worse, the "bathroom" humor or the small mammals trying to work out who was attracted to whom.  It's a bad sign when I'd rather watch the humans.  Hoyt Yeatman directed and co-wrote.

Gettysburg

Gettysburg

New Line

October 8, 1993

War Drama

DVD
D

I was predictably bored by this Civil War drama, in which the credits alone seemed to drag on for minutes (maybe only three).  Ron Maxwell directed and wrote the screenplay, based on the Michael Shaara novel, Kller Angels.

Getaway (2013)

Getaway (2013)

Warner Bros.

August 30, 2013

Action

DVD

D-

Idiotic and at times infuriating movie, which made me kept questioning why the "hero" couldn't see that he was risking the lives of hundreds of people to maybe save his wife's life.

The Getaway (1972)

The Getaway (1972)

National General Pictures

December 19, 1972

Crime Drama

DVD
D+

McQueen's wife, played by McGraw, gets him out of prison by sleeping with someone and then the happy couple goes to the park.  Sam Peckinpah directed.